Thoughts on anything and everything...

So far everyone is still sleeping. Hubby is at work. So, I thought I would do a little blogging, because no one reads it anyways. lol Been very frustrated lately. Trying to find a full time job has become sort of a obsession and not getting any calls has made me quite... aggravated. I have been working for a friend of mine at her restaurant and while it is a fun job, it clearly is not paying any bills. It basically gets groceries for a few days. I know... it is better than nothing right now but in my mind I keep thinking that I need to find something better. Next month starts my month long job as a corn inspector. I have not a clue what that involves. I'll be heading to Indy next week for training. I wonder what the heck to do with Ashley while the kids and I work every single day of the week. I wonder when I'll have time to do normal house stuff, as well as get dinner done. How I am going to swing getting fair stuff done and 2 dog shows. So much worry.

David had a procedure on his neck to "burn" the nerves surrounding his blown disk in a attempt to hold out on Surgery. Yeah, it didn't work very well. He is in still a lot of pain and we see Surgery in the very very near future. I'm worried about how we are going to pay the bills without his income. In the past year we have lost my income of $600 a week give or take, and soon will be losing his income of $800 a week. He won't be able to get unemployment either with having surgery because the job he is on is coming to a end. My position at the restaurant is about $100 for 3 days a week, and that is not going to cover the house payment let alone anything else. Gas prices are going up and up, food is going up and up. Seems like everything is going up and up except what we make. Been trying to sell things we don't need here and there, but even that isn't making much, as people are not buying things like they used to. So much worry. Trying to keep it from the kids but when they want to go go go all summer long, and all I can think of is how much gas is, I really do not want to leave the house!

So, my plan is to take everything 1 day at a time, and as things get shut off, I just have to deal with it. So far the Internet has been down for almost a week, I have a feeling the phones will be next. We are a little over a month behind on them. I keep praying for a answer or a call back for any job I have put in for and the phone does not ring. Right now, I just wish for it to rain about $1000 my way. wishful thinking, I know, and I do know that money isn't everything, but when you are so behind on everything, it seems like there is no end in sight.

While I am grateful that everyone is alive and well, that we still have a roof over our heads and food on the table, I keep reminding myself that things will get better. The next month or so will be really rough until I get rolling with this inspector position. Hopefully this will get us back above water and David's neck will hold out. He keeps saying that he isn't going to last much longer. I pray for relief from his pain just for a month or 2, so I can secure a job and so he can keep his a little while longer.

While it seems like I'm a "debbie downer" throughout this entire post, some good things have been happening. I have been doing more exercising and am down to my lowest is over a year. That's a plus! The kids are doing well. Ashley is excited about going to Tennis camp and the twins made the high school cheerleading squad.

So... I guess that is all for now. Going to sign off. kids are starting to wake up and want me to cook something for breakfast.